Well I think the title sums it up.  Earlier today after work I was getting sucked into YouTube and I started to look at videos from the hayday of middle school.  Obviously if you were around a radio between 1998-2000 you knew it was either bubble gum pop or rap/rock nu metal.  Since I hate being stereotypical I obviously went the way of the guitars and shitty lyrics.  I digress, but seriously, why did we, as youth, think that Limp Bizkit was awesome?  They fucking suck.  Fred Durst looks like the hugest scum bag on the face of the earth.  He sings….er… recites the lyrics like shit too (although there are a few examples of shitty sounding lead singers.  I instantly think of my beloved Billy Corgan, but there are others.)  Anyways, lets analyze:


Nookie.  The song and video that started it all.  Fred Durst is so desirable that he can walk around one of the boroughs of New York wearing a puffy jacket in May and the ladies will come flocking.  Fuck that red cap.


Break Stuff.  A song about getting pissed and needing anger management, yet showcases the band goofing off.  I’m guilty as all of you for playing this when in a bad mood when I was younger, but now this would further agitate my mood.  A few ok cameos.  And it becomes apparent at this point that their guitarist Wes is awesome.


Rollin.  I really have no idea what this song is about, but I hope to god it’s not about cars because what holy shit what a tool.  The video starts off with Fred sitting on a park bench and Ben Stiller mistakes him for a busboy (common mistake these days) and tells him to valet his Bentley.  Then Fred drives around trying to be cool but looks like he probably likes it in the ass.  Every time Fred plays around and goofs with the camera I was to punch his Adam’s apple down his throat and spit up hot dog flavored water into his cap.  (Interesting note, they shot the video on top of one of the World Trade Center towers in 2000, and a year later, the day before 9/11, they received a letter thanking them for shooting on top of the towers.  Creepy.)


Don’t even get me started on this piece of shit song and video, or else my blood pressure will go up.


Boiler?  Who remembers this?  Well to their credit the video was an interesting concept and the song was a little heavier, but if you take away the animated gremlins and Fred Durst in general it might have been able to be retired from TRL.  Once again by the screen cap, Wes Borland continues to be the only cool one.  But he left after this album.  Also, hot dog flavored water?  Gross.  Might as well be… no I won’t go there.


Eat You Alive.  Apparantly about Britney Spears, and ya know, why not?  But seriously, Fred Durst is beyond creepy in the video and song to the point where I would call the registered sex offenders hotline to get a background check.  In the video he yells at Thora Birch who is tied to a chair.  With a megaphone.  But then charms her when he turns on the light display in the woods.  Seriously?  Although I am a complete sucker for light fixtures (don’t judge) I would not go anywhere in darkness/broad daylight with Fred Durst.  Oh yeah and somehow Bill Paxton stumbled into the video too.  I think that’s his most recent work.

So in conclusion, Limp Bizkit used to be cool when we were 12 and 13, but thank god that was 10 years ago.  Music really was shitty back then. And Wes Borland was the only cool thing about Limp Bizkit.picture-21


2 responses to “42.

  1. How did you NOT talk about them ruining George Michael’s good name with their cover of Faith?

    But I’m glad I’m not the only one who’d like to spit hot dog water in Fred Durst’s red cap.

  2. Also: I went neither of those ways in 1998-2000. I was always a ska kid.

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